Tips For Sucka Free Love: Avoiding The Game Playing Dream Weaving Lover That Will Break Your Heart

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Author: Deborrah Cooper

Article source: http://www.articledeshboard.com/. Used with author's permission.

Many women are clueless about what qualities they should be looking for in a man. Their selection criteria is based on superficial traits that have absolutely nothing to do with how a man will treat them. No consideration is given to a man's character. Not one moment is spent thinking about how much he respects and honors women, nor how devoted or loving he will be.

In response to this confusion, I took a few minutes to write this article. My goal is to provide female readers with tips to avoid the #1 knucklehead, the most common player out there and his fantasy based mind games.

The Instant Commitment, Magic Wand Waving,
Dream Weaving Perpetrator

You may meet this man online or at a party or club. He is funny, handsome, engaging and very charming. He makes you laugh a lot and you find yourself enjoying the time you spend in his presence. Around him you are relaxed and feel very comfortable. It feels like you've known him for years almost immediately.

You two engage in heartfelt discussions about your life, past relationships and goals for the future. You find yourself spilling out your pain and share that you are seeking a true love, a forever love, someone you can trust and be with for decades. Wow! He tells you that he is looking for the exact same thing.

Word for word.

Sex with him takes you to the moon and back. You feel so understood. Though it's only been a month, you feel that you are in love with him already and KNOW he loves you. You begin to think you've met your soul mate and can't believe your good luck. You talk to your friends about the real possibilities you see here for a future, since he wants everything you want out of life and you make such a perfect couple.

You are busy making plans for growth in your professional life and personal life. And since you are falling in love with this charmingly sexy man, you include him in your plans.

You talk to him frequently about your goals and strategies to achieve them. He listens carefully and cheers you on. You find that you are more in love with him than ever. You lay in bed with your head on his chest while he daydreams aloud about the children he wants to have "some day."

He's taken you on romantic drives in nearby residential communities to look at new developments he thinks would make a perfect family home. You imagine the two of you living the suburban dream. It makes sense that he should be looking at new homes because, after all, when you marry you will need a fabulous home of your own.

Time passes joyfully. Then you notice something…something odd. After all these months, none of the goals or dreams he spoke of have actually ever HAPPENED.

He isn't back in school getting his MBA…he hasn't even registered. You didn't get the bracelet he said he was going to get you for your birthday either.

Then the love of your life begins to stand you up for dates after promising a good time. You've noticed that he isn't quite as affectionate and attentive. It also takes a lot longer for him to call you back than it did in the early days of your relationship. Days as a matter of fact.

He promises to come over at 7:00 and bring pizza and movies for a cozy night in. Instead he shows up at empty handed at midnight rushing you to the bed. Before he talked about taking you to his weekly card game to meet his friends, and to the annual family reunion so he could introduce you to his sister and Mom. But now he claims to be so busy that he doesn't have time to go himself to either event.

His dreamy words are all you have, but you hang onto them and your fantasies like a life raft, defending his lack of action to your disgusted friends by weakly saying "but he said…"

At some point you decide to be assertive and ask him "what's going on?" When you bring up the issue and try to nail down a specific time line for action, he throws a fit and starts an argument, complaining that you are "pressuring" him.

He may be the bold type and tell you to your face that he's not ready yet for anything serious. He reminds you that he never said he was either. He cuts you off because he has someplace urgent to go and the matter will have to be discussed later. Then he's out the door.

With a shock you realize that he is right! He talked about doing a lot of wonderful things in his life, but he never actually said that he wanted to do those dreamy wonderful things with YOU.

Accept the reality ladies - you got played by the Magic Man. He comes into your life, creates a whirlwind of exciting dreams, fantastic sex and hopeful yearnings for more. He spins magical mystical dreams of commitment and love in your head and heart, then poof! He's gone in a puff of smoke.

This is just one example of the types of men you need to be very watchful for and avoid like the plague. Remember, if it seems too good to be true, it usually is.

It pays to choose your men and relationships wisely, always with an eye towards what you NEED long-term vs. what is exciting, fun, or relieves your momentary boredom.

Never stop being the sensitive, fun-loving, devoted, warm and wonderful woman that you are! Provide those privileges and benefits only to the RIGHT man, the man that not only talks the talk, but walks the walk.